Astral Spaceways Incorporated

If you find Earth boring!


Departures & Fares

Choose your class of ascent.

All fares are love offerings. No fare purchases a guarantee — the deities keep their own schedules — but every fare purchases a flight plan, a trained navigator, and safe passage home. Usually home.

Fare classes

№ 044

Economy of Spirit

“Puddle Jump”

A supervised 20-minute regression to one (1) verified past lifetime. Ideal for first-time travelers and the recently bored. Includes grounding, one souvenir memory, and a certificate of prior existence.

Love offering: 44.

Reserve your seat

№ 144

Astral Select

“Orbit”

A half-day itinerary: one parallel dimension (economy sideways-Earth) plus a supervised introduction to one (1) minor deity or angel of your choosing. Telepathy pre-check included.

Love offering: 144.

Reserve your seat

№ 777

Cosmic Business

“Deep Field”

A multi-life itinerary with open-jaw routing, full access to the Angelic Switchboard (all eight gates), and priority handling by the Handmaidens. Recommended for serious seekers and the professionally disenchanted.

Love offering: 777.

Reserve your seat

№ ∞

Throne Class

“The Ascent”

Bespoke passage toward the Crown and an audience with the First God. Not sold online. Extended by invitation of the Oracle only, following consultation. Travelers must be at least 40 years of age, per Merkavah advisory.

Love offering: by invitation.

Request an audience


Add-ons

  • · Karmic baggage handling (per life) — 22
  • · Grounding & livestock services (our cowherd walks you back to your body) — included, tip your cowherd
  • · Trip insurance — we cannot guarantee you return the same person; 33
  • · Companion Fare — bring a skeptic, half off their disbelief
  • · Gift certificates — the only present that follows them into the next life

Celestial Miles™ (Tikkun Points)

Every good deed accrues repair-miles toward the Gift World. Every bad deed incurs a re-entry fee. Balances are non-transferable across incarnations, except by special dispensation of the Oracle.

Status tiers: Husk · Spark · Ascendant.


All fares are offerings, not purchases. No refunds across timelines. See Safety & Conditions before booking.